Les Chemises de l'Archiduchesse, sont elles sèches....

Salut les ki-ki's!!!

currently enjoying:

Radio Déliro

Cuvée Renaissance Puisseguin-Saint-Emilion 2003 - 5 euros in the supermarket 1000 dans la bouche

Narcissico Rodriguez all over

my favorite lime green t-shirt

TracyChevalier's the Virgin Blue bringing back many o many a memory of old......

and a steaming hot bowl of home made thai curry soup made from scratch poeple, say SCRATCH, oh yeah, i knew you could do it, that's right, S-c-R-a_t_C_h

c'est si bon

http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

It's the weirdest thing. You'd think that with the Lurking Doom so close by i would be at a peak on the hysteriacal woman chart but no, i am so not freaking any more. Yes, once in a while, actually once every waxing moon, it intesifies to the point of the unspeakable, but after that, cool, calm, collected. At least for me anyway. Go figure.

Have decided to capitalize today.

My BigGirl arrived safely at destination and should now be on 30 km class walk through volcano land. Very excited band of youth, none of which will be getting any sleep during their week's stay in Auverne. When I was 14 we never got to visit any volcano's or go caving. Not fair.

When she gets back, they're all on vacation for a week. Then, two weeks after that, school's out. These kids are always on vacation.

The weather here is cold windy and disgusting. We haven't had sun for over two weeks. SUCKS.

next, um , not much else to say really. had something i was gonna rant about but it's totally left my mind. dunno.

oh, yeah, i made a dream catcher from twigs and garden string yesterday and was overcome with sense of peace that i haven't felt for long time and suddenly my mind joined my body and time got slower and i was like, cool. very cool. so i think i'm going to make a larger one today and maybe attach some clay figures to it and build on it and stuff.

la.la.la. life's bland.

Ravnos 41% P, 52% W, 30% H, 66% G

Play a Ravnos.. Trust me.. Illusion and deceit, your trickery is more than just sleight of hand, your illusions are as real as your enemies are willing to believe. You can speak to the animals, and take one hell of a beating, but your true trump card will usually be your ability to make people (and vampires) see, hear, feel, etc. whatever you want. This power is the most costly of powers, but it never fails, no roll of dice needed.. You must, however, when creating your character, choose a vice, be it theft, murder, white lies, or a taboo fetish, your character can't resist the urge to engage in some immoral activity as often as possible. Better be careful, even fellow Ravnos might get annoyed with your habits after long. In the end, though, all Ravnos share some common goals, spreading east of their ancient homeland in India as they did to the west, releasing the energy that powers their illusions into the environment (powerful enemies seem to hold a lot of that sweet stuff), and bridging the generation gap between young Ravnos and the elders with a better understanding of each other... Before something messy happens..

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 60% on P You scored higher than 40% on W You scored higher than 0% on H You scored higher than 60% on G

Link: The ceoantdlvn Which Vampire Clan Test written by ceoantdlvn on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Rare Psychic You scored 10 Empath, 8 Channeler, 10 Medium, and 9 Shaman!

You are an EMPATH/CHANNELER/MEDIUM/SHAMAN The ability to literally feel for someone else is a finely tuned empathic sense. It gives you the psychic ability to "read" a person's aura, and interpret the information back to him or her. It can bring you amazingly close to others; you can sense their true emotional needs with unerring accuracy, and people may be drawn to you like magnets. But avoid absorbing other people's problems, as it's easy to get burned out. Accessing information and/or energy from a higher level of consciousness is often called channeling. There is no sense of contact with an individual entity, rather, a connection to higher spiritual forces. Whatever your age, you are viewed by others as "an old soul" and will be sought out for the spiritual insight that you've built up over many lifetimes. If you've been aware of an unseen presence, or have seen a ghost, you could be mediumistic. You also may have felt the presence of angelic or earthly spirits, which act as guardians to you. You can look into other dimensions such as the astral worlds or the "spirit" world. This vision is a rare gift. As you are vividly aware of nature and the spirit in animals, plants, and trees, your style of psychism is shamanistic. You derive a highly tuned sense of danger from your instinctive link with wild animals; this is a great asset--your intuition literally saves lives. You can sense impending danger in all situations, whether it's on the sidewalk, in traffic situations, or in the workplace. You may also have natural healing ability--an innate sense of what will harm or help someone who is ill.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 65% on Empath You scored higher than 30% on Channeler You scored higher than 75% on Medium You scored higher than 70% on Shaman

Link: The What Kind of Psychic Are You? Test written by SoftPurple on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

yeah, where the heck am i?

not anywhere interesting.

i've been mindlessly shifting through house listings and spent a good part of yesterday at ikea where i indulged in both the gravelaxx AND the meatballs, and the day before that the kids were off school which meant the mac was booked all day and by the evening i was so sick of it's annoying incessant hum i couldn't bare to turn the thing on. i did succeed in buying a matress cover for my for eldest daughter who's bed is a peice of crap taken out of the basement of my dh's former employer, the origin of which no one can say for sure. i'd like to buy her a whole new bed but that is not only impossible but silly at the moment.

something odd happens to me when i go to ikea. or any other large commercial shopping space. i totally go glazed over and disoriented, get over-stimulated and shut down. sometimes i actually have to dash out of the mall without buying anything and come back later when i've chunked it all. not good for a professional shopper like myself. but i have learned to work around my hypersensitivity and ultimate loathing of materials management. it's an odd affliction as i am in the business of things. for me it's about painting a picture. i could give a rat's ass about labels and price tags. don't care. hate stuff. hate it. filling in the canvas, now that i like. i'll have this, and this, and this, and this...just don't bring me down or it'll start looking like stuff again. push pull push pull.

so with this in mind, i have been dreaming about what new existance i could define for myself. less shopping oriented. more about concept than leg work. more about craft than scamming deals. i only started it for survival's sake. something more pleasurable than buying screws and hauling wood and paint and plaster and tools in a filthy smelly hot truck with no balls. that was amusing for a year. nobody else got the feminist/anti-establishment fulmillment i at first did. they just saw some chick, always in a hurry, looking crazed with the stress of trying to feed the hungry puppies. always expendable. but it was a nice change from being barbie for redneck french tv. and i thought, a fun learning experience. a necessary infliction of physical cruelty intended to reap the full understanding of art department right from ground level. no elevator for this barbie. what i didn't realise is that when you can do something, that becomes what people call you for. don't need an elevator if you're gonna stay on ground floor anyway. yeah, you have an ability to draw and sculpt and paint and imagine and plan and scrounge, but we much prefer to send you out shopping because you do it fast and well. because you hate it. and because it fits in with the short 8-7 workday that a mommy can provide.

so, i was thinking a relocation would be a great way to redefine a whole lot of things. i've been looking at houses and trying to open my mind. because if you're not growing, you're dying. and i have been at a running stand still for way too long.

sorry but you asked.

and then i found this at marebear's and thought i'd try it on

You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose

You're on your own
And you know what you know
You are the one who'll decide where to go

~ Dr. Seuss

there's this friend of mine who does not publish my comments on his blog. i was just wondering if it is because they are too dumb?

late night posts are never cheerful

late night mind chasing

remember that made for tv movie where the prom queen is just waking up from a 20 yr coma and she's 40? that's how i feel about moving home

how do you go back? i will never fit in. never did. going back will be like gambling the one peice of real i have in order to maybe, maybe, maybe, have...what? a little more security? my mind scoffs at this. i don't feel secure at all about it. what if it doesn't work out and we've bought a house and can't sell it and are in some small town that what if we don't like? or some big town and lose the balance we have with our kids?

yes, something has to change in my life. i can't stay burried in this house. but i think the job market is just as hostile to women who've been home with their kids over there. because of all those reasons i won't go into.

i could go back to school. that's what i would do. ease into it. do some supply teaching. forget the woman i almost was and be a wife in the burbs. there's nothing left to hold onto here any way. the business is dead. everyone is leaving. almost never won a game of horseshoes.

and there would be family visits. that would be nice.

but i don't want to be the broke washed up auntie who grandad has to slip a thousand every visit because she cant afford to get her hair cut or buy a bra. broke here is way more dignified than broke there. at least i can get a really good bottle of wine for 4 euros to drown my sorrows in.

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what if you stop chasing your tail and have a little faith in life?
go listen to deepak.

chill out in the wysteria lounge

this is probably way too big to open but i don't want to cheese them down so let's see
and the editor in me would most certainly remove the other flowers and stuff from shot as they distract but it's a documentary...

tea?

can't do computers

Unconscious Mutterings Logo

1. Yours :: mine


2. Charcoal :: drawing


3. Platitude :: daily


4. Graduation :: long ago


5. Hungry :: famished


6. Somewhere :: over the rainbow


7. Nurse :: morphine


8. Freak :: excited


9. Unbelievable ::never


10. Walk :: don't run

hmnn...not sure what the use of that was but The Daily Platitude would be a great name for my blog...

here is what i am thinking about right now...

other mommies don't want to play with me. they never comment. they don't come back often. maybe this isn't a mommy blog. maybe i am not mommy enough.

other thoughts

it's raining. it has been raining since my wisteria came out. i want to work in the garden a nd have a party for my beautiful blossoming treees and nature thwarts me. why i ask?

why why why?

oh, cruel cruel world

hey look it stopped raining!

testing, one, two,....testing

ahem.

i would just like to say,

that the man i have been bashing under the identity of DH, aka Lump, is actually a very competant and intelligent individual

i am therefore, by no means, to be considered a character witness since i am writing under the influence of well, many things...and i like to take poetic license where ever and whenever...

so, if the visitor from Vermont has id.'d me...
welcome...
and,
i'm nuts.
harmless, but nuts.
and he is perfectly sane.
and reliable.
and not a lump. when salaried.

that's all.

good night.

gulp.

Please Visit This Site

http://save.nazanin.googlepages.com

big case of the blahs comin on

still thinking of an earlier conversation
how about this explanation for that fine line?

"Even though an art's soul is essentially determined by beholders, perhaps in the interest of simplicity, the line that distinguishes porn from art should be assessed by the intent of the artists/pornographers. In the creators intend to solely trigger sexual emotions, perhaps they should be considered pornographers. If the creators intend to trigger cognitive responses that may or may not include emotions, then perhaps they are artists.

Perhaps an even better definition is to apply some rules of sex to art. An intimate sexual encounter has two people engaging, thinking, and having their emotions stimulated. A deviant sexual encounter is less complex. Although two people are involved, there isn't much consideration given to the other person. The emotion is rawer and there is almost no thought. A work of art is like the former. A work of pornography like the latter."


http://www.convictcreations.com/art/porn.htm

actually, what it all boils down to, is that you REFUSE to work.
you're lazy. and spoiled. and have given up on yourself.
try setting a few goals.
and how about actually STICKING to them.

the Critic

VIII
Strength

Before a forest filled with silence and mystery, a lady sits upon a great lion. She is calm, as is her companion, and yet both of them have the potential for violence within them, as do we all. Her strength comes from serene inner power, without the need to prove it, just as the lion instinctively moves from a place of inner strength.

Strength comes from confidence, serenity, centering and allowing power to rise from within, not from posturing or needless aggression. There is nothing in all the forest to fear, for fear itself has been subdued...

Copyright Lunaea Weatherstone. All rights reserved.

sitting here with my coffee. chewing on some hard little knobs that only two days ago were lemon poppyseed muffins, i contemplate the universe.

pointilism has given way to lush broad strokes of green and i am shrouded in stillnes. fragrant heady intoxicating nature. how could there be any other place, any other existance? why is it that when i acheive acceptance and a sense of belonging that life must shift brutally? i am the mistress of this place. these trees. the ancient people of this hill tell me from their whispering land that they are pleased i follow them.

and yet, locked in this tower i am cut off from the world. and every day that i let fold into another becomes a day where my chances of survival are diminished. out there. i could have been the apprentice. (hell, i should be the wizard by now)i could have but my path is to chose the path less travelled. my feelers send me empty messages. and i am a ghost. who sits at the computer. drifts through the garden. stares into the distance. sometimes appearing to the inhabitants of this place. usually distant.

and they grow.

and the petals fall.

XVI
The Tower

A beautiful city rises in elaborately constructed towers, representing plans and projects, things that are established, ordered and controlled. A violent storm sweeps over the city, striking the tall towers with sudden bolts of lightning. A jester maniacally pops up, echoing the shock and surprise of the lightning...

Old structures are changing, like it or not... You are being blasted from one reality to the next, and the way is being cleared for transformation. Change is in the air, crackling in the atmosphere like summer lightning...

Copyright Lunaea Weatherstone. All rights reserved.

lunaea says

Collage by Lunaea Weatherstone

Feeling
Child of Water

Your feelings are close to the surface now, and you may feel overwhelmed by them, both good and bad. You may feel close to tears much of the time, and not be sure if they are tears of joy or sorrow. The waters of emotion wash over you, and you are learning anew to handle them, as a child learns control. Don't focus on control, however. Walk willingly into the sea of emotions, swim in its deep mysterious waters... experience each moment fully... embrace the beauty of a full and open heart.

Copyright Lunaea Weatherstone. All rights reserved.

Spent all of yesterday in that jungle i call a garden absolutely high on the sent of lilacs. the air is like a sweet intoxicating syrop, some magical brew that lures you into the garden and before you know it your hands are bleeding and numb from shoveling compost, whacking borders, pulling nettles...like the masochist that i am, barely able to uncurl these fingers, i will go back there again today because in return i am filled with a sense of place and purpose. no longer adrift in a multi-tasking fog of everyday worries. thank you garden. thankyouthankyouthankyou.

ok . the truth is, my mom had to leave a week early and i am bumbed. i can get back to my life now, but i had lots of tea and chatting planned and it's not fucking fair. i'm a selfish child so what.

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it. You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less. You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way. Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

mimi smartypants has cracked me up again.

my aunt passed away at two o'clock this afternoon.

life is too short.

it is not an easy thing to have your mother over when you are pms'ing like crazy. it makes you want to vent. which makes her want to parent. which makes you want to rebel. which makes her worried. which makes you feel guilty.

but now that that's over and the subject has been completely exhausted we will stay away from the topics of unemployment, financial ruin and marital conflict.

and then there's the issue of heving totally forgotten it was mother's day yesterday...

and my husband's b-day. (not forgotten)

dad had to leave yesterday because his sister is a few breaths away from departure.
(which makes him tense and distant and nostalgic all in one.) kids have really enjoyed his visit. they have only seen their gparents a few times. little guy wanted to get in his gdad's suitcase.

has been nice on the whole. apart from the pms and masses of dishes.

had ex-inlaws and whole step crew over for bbq on sunday. eldest daughter was delighted. nice to see the inlaws again. it's been 11 years..."the men" went golfing. talk about wierd. dh, dad, ex dh, ex f.i.l...all golfing

kind like when we all went to big girl's shool picnic and me and her stepmaman were both pregant out to here...combinedd family takes on a new meaning at my house.
we're even talking about them getting work in quebec if we have to move from europe.

anyway, i'm to distracted for this writing stuff so, it's quitting time.

so excited!

Mom and Dad are arriving for a yearly visit today!

Can you say Cleaning Frenzy?

she sees little people

may 1, yesterday, was the "fête du travail", May Day? So,in celebration of work, nobody went. instead, people head to the forests to gather vines with which they create large wreaths to hang over the doorways of their local cafés, associations, businesses...
amazing how much pagan tradition remains ingrained

one of the reasons i love this country

also,

had a dream once that i was working in an old mill/historic village/movie set/thing and that it was inhabited by little people who were the actual original inhabitants of this lovely country until forced to go into hiding by "christianity", as they did way back when...anyway, it was my job to uncover the truth and expose the crime and these little people were very convincing that i should let it be known...etc
so, i woke up with this weird feeling that the people here were decended from the garden gnome and it was my job to start telling the world...
anyway, of course, like most things, i forgot about this new calling until the other day when i read...

"Le royaume des Vichtels: le nom luxembourgeois de Vichtels donné aux nutons viendrait de ce que Vichten aurait été leur capitale. Une tradition situe le palais de leur souverain, ou Schaddai, sur la route qui descend vers Bissen et la sinistre chapelle du Choléra, à l´emplacement du chateau ruiné de Wampach, dont le peuple nain continuerait à habiter
les souterrains. De l´autre coté du village, Schandel, on a déterré plus de 2000 pierres et fragments sculptés, vestiges d´ une cité gauloise disparue. Récemment on a trouvé un mosaique le plus important du Grand-Duché qui va être transporté à un Musée en Luxembourg-Ville."

loosely translated, i was totally on to something