ugh. now i feel all shitty for talking about something so ancient and unpleasant. and only the tip of the iceberg. but as we are being encouraged to live in a climate of fear and i do cherish my freedom, i have started to untangle this web that keeps me from winging my way through life. that keeps me cautious and afraid to give up what i have aquired. to take a chance. to have the faith in myself and the resilience of my children to survive and surpass this challenge and others to come.
if you are not growing you are dying. i am not going to die just yet. and i need to break this paralysis and show my kids how to defy entropy. i want out of this dark corner in the universe and i want to find that smile and steady gaze i once used to defy the sisters of chaos.
because i used know who i was. and it bugged people enough for them to want to wipe that smile off my brazen face.