Bag of Diamonds

Saw "Cold Mountain" yesterday. Really good. Going to get all philosophical again. Reminded me that life's a struggle and that the comfort we have today is SO not real. (like i needed reminding)
And here comes the self-reflecting garbage: Ava and Ruby pretty much sum up the two sides of myself that unlike them have not learned to cooperate. Let us go to the divan....
I came to my adult life (blah-di-blah-di-blah) a "wild child" AND a "pretty thing" with so little practical knowledge I could not survive. The "wild child" pulled me through and took over for a long time. Until it was time to be a wife. Now I'm the onlooker who feels that nothing useful can be done in my current position as a mother. I've never achieved balance...
The wild child is SCREAMING at me to DO SOMETHING. The civilized lady is agreeing but can not see what exactly. The wild child has painted over 200 sq. meters of house single-handedly in the last four weeks and the lady has torn out her hair, sent out a few CV's and felt useless.
Ava gets a grip in the movie and learns from Ruby. She "packs ice around her heart" and gets on with it. How do I reconcile these strong forces in my life and make them work together?
And this made me think too: when Ava is finally (re)united with her man she wonders how they could both believe so hard in what were only a few moments together before they were separated. He answers it was not the number of moments but the wealth of what each moment represented, like a "bag of diamonds". Hmmn....I should stop chucking all those little bags out the window just because i think they're never going to be full enough.