anybody got a match?

seven years ago, my how time flies, i was asked by my boss if i wanted to move to england and take a job with him on a VERY well known project. it was a big deal. he also asked me why i didn't go out with the poor guy who kept calling me and making obscenely romantic gestures. i rolled my eyes and said that after everything i'd been through, why would i go out with this guy when my instinct told me he was wonderful and i'd end up back where i'd started, a desparate-mom-no-one with no job and no future, because that's what dating that particular guy implied: children, family, and the inevitable dependance on a man which i knew would cause me to lose myself all over again. i knew it in my gut. and i tried sooooooo hard to turn him off. but in the end, i chose the man. and guess what...the prophecy has fulfilled itself, as they do.
i have just been told by a designer "friend" (who was biting at MY heals back when), that i am basically unemployable because i have kids. i wouldn't be suitable to the intense furniture moving, the truck driving, the minor carpentry (all which i've DONE DONE DONE) because well, i'm delicate. and i wouldn't want to do the hours. and she's got a "buyer"/decorator who is totally unfettered and in the brief time that i've been away has absorbed the entire industry.
who gives a flying fuck if i can't afford to feed or house my kids. any real professional would have used a condom.
she's right. i don't want to drive a damn truck. i've done the grunt work.i should be an art director and directing my own movies by now. that's what i want-ed.
WELL. YOU CAAAAAAAAAAAANT HAVE IT.
guess i'll go bake some muffins.
i can serve them to the bailiff.
fuckin useless peice of shit who nobody, after 20 years here, gives a crap about because i'm nothing but a pair of tits.
well, they're nice tits at least.
and they have served their purpose well.
but they're empty now.
i don't even have a screw gun anymore.
and my husband has scattered my tools all over the damn garage.