Saturday, July 15, 2006
there is this great big orange moon out there and it has been keeping me awake for a week. this new philosophy of manifesting positive thoughts is being tested on day 2. the theory being that energy spent dwelling on/trying to improve/overcome negative situations ie; money problems only attracts more money problems. has something to do with quantum physics. instead one should think about how grateful they are for what they do have and focus on all the money they can visualize themselves wanting. by this rule, my style of blogging is seriously challenged. already i feel myself wanting to express the extreme frustration of having friends who just don't get that the 15 bucks they borrowed and didn't pay back REALLY WAS my gas money for the month. but i won't. or that tonight we learned that the reason dh hasn't heard anything about this imminent hot job is that the guy who interviewed him and was all 100 reasons we want to hire you, is now C.O.O. for another company. SHIT. yes, universe here come my negative waves. take them and turn them into something good. NOW!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
lol.
sorry to giggle -- but that is SO my life. and you're right, things pretty much do work that way.
so go get a copy of 'what the bleep do we know' and just relax. things have a way of working out, and that shit is cold comfort when you're in the throes, I know, but take a second to think -- last time you were in this state, and felt like you were really in the shit, what was the upshot? did anybody starve? were you evicted and thrown in the street? anybody murdered or otherwise inconvenienced?
things have a way of working out that is entirely disconnected from the amount we wish to worry about it.
so do what you want, open a bottle of wine, whatever. he'll get a job when he's ready, I guess.
hope that doesn't sound flip -- I honestly don't mean it to... I just relate completely to what you seem to be feeling -- been there a hundred times, and every time something came from a direction I didn't foresee.
It's like you're trying to divine a 3D solution, but your vision is limited to two dimensions. You can't see it all, so go out to the garden, get some fruit, and make a nice fruit salad. Things will look different in a little while.
VF, i have the dvd. maybe i should play it while i sleep.
last time things were like this they were, um, worse. ten years ago today i had been without income for 9 months and trying to raise a 4 year old completely, absolutely, alone. as in no work, no friends, no family, no self-esteem, and very little will to live.(heck, just for fun, throw in a hostile ex who kept threatening to take my kid,a broken heating system, 4 cats, several bailiffs and a Peter Pan i was deperately in love with )
i don't know how i managed to keep a roof over out heads.the only poeple i had any contact with were in it for the free sex and they weren't much of a positive influence. i got through it. never thought i wouldn't be able to feed my kid. never thought i would be shut out from the world and treated like a peice of crap. i had a normal family back home who were telling me to come home all the time, but i was stuck. and proud. and hopeful that a new movie would soon happen. (it did) and that my Evil Genious then boyfriend (one of) would smarten up and be nice.
when he started to, it was too late. i'd had enough being treated like crap so i cut my hair off and dumped him. things began to change. once i realised i deserved better, i got better. guess i just need to know what the bottom felt like.
so, although i'm frustrated as hell at times, i know things will work out.
i didn't think anybody could relate to me. big hug VF.
fruit salad anyone?
good for you. onward, pagan soldiers!
Post a Comment