Surpassed

Went to see some shorts made in Lux and was pleasantly surprised. As we're attending the local Oscars it seemed a good idea to at least have seen a few. Luckily the 4 we saw were designed by friends and so I'll have something to talk about tomorrow night other than my house, my kids, and the Lurking Doom. Kind of a funny feeling when you can look back on the days when it all started and say I remember when...We were all running around a little crazed, learning a new business that invented itself as it went along... Much to the dismay of many a seasoned film vet. whose ways of doing things are shall we say challenged here in the wild west. Now, the business is going to places like Hungary and sometimes it feels like we're officially on the Titanic. But the musics still playing and I can swim (and put up with cold temperatures) so I guess we'll hang around a little longer. I was actually asked for my CV yesterday. A random act of kindness or could this be hope? I am a stubborn girl. I have perservered for a LOOOONG time. But usually the positive effects of my tenacity are kicked to bits in a fit of self-hatred that personally I feel all individuals should have to inflict upon themselves because we as human beings are vile creatures and should not be allowed to breeze through life without a self-questioning moment... And personally I have always enjoyed the bitter-sweet. That's why I haul rusty iron-work out of the bin and store it in my garage. Beauty needs to be a little tarnished for me to appreciate. Maybe that's why I refuse to allow success to enter my life when it's banging on the door and all it needs is a welcoming smile and an open heart to do my bidding. Tantric living. Hold out until you can't bear it and than throw the door open and let the whoosh of what you want just drown you in yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!!! Maybe that's it.