The mold guy is coming. Toxicity in the bedroom. Not a joke. Some strange unbearable fuel-like odor that can't be healthy. VOC's, like fromalgehyde. Bad for you. So because we really got along the last time, when we succesfully detected nasty black mold known as stachybotris atra, he's rushing out here at 8 am to try and idendify this damn smell. I think now that it is just something melting down inside our electric heater...probably not good either. He's here.
Nope. Not VOC's. Burnt dust. But still...
On another vein, a need to express this. I am a bad mommy.
Not because I'm terrible but for some reason i have cut myself off emotionally from my middle daughter. This is not her fault. It started when I found out I was pregnant again and she was only six months old. All of a sudden I started to mourn our special relationship, knowing that I would soon be overwhelmed by another new baby. Despite my consciousness of this, I have remained emotionally cut off from her. She is only six and I am painfully aware of how fast the years slip by. So I cast this to the universe and vow to slow my day down and show my love for this little girl who had to become a big sister far too soon.
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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin
About Me
- Blue Fairy
- Perdutto e tutto il tempo, che in amor no si spende. Or something like that.
2 comments:
aw. that you've felt and acknowledged it is a huge step... love is as often an act of volition as a feeling. if you really were a bad mommy you wouldn't take responsibility for the situation... you'd blame her instead.
to paraphrase the cliché, love is as love does.
(and thanks for linking to me)
I agree with viewfinder.
Besides, there is enough love to go around. It multiplies unless you block it off.
My mom used to say that you love each of your children in a different way because they are so unique and the relationship is different from one to another.
When my brother was born, I had a doll and would take care of the doll as mom was taking care of baby. It was actually a kind of bonding between my mom and I. When he was a little older, I could help her. I was only 3 - I'll bet your daughter could be right there helping you. I like the image of all of you snuggling together.
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