m.i.a.

so last year at this time, things were pretty grim. and this year at this time, things have not changed. in one month if no progress is made, we put the house on the market. in 4 months, unemployment runs out. because we have to put our kids in private school, we are running a monthly deficit of about 1500 euros. Add it up, as the song says. and so in case you all are wondering why i am obnoxious right now, there you have it. because as you know,job seekers over 35 are good for nuttin. fact of life. because they have expences, because they know what they want. because they have no more illusions. because they want to be paid what they're worth and they know that the starting salary is peanuts and won't pay the bills. i am so bitter at the moment. and i want to scream bloody murder all over the goddamn place. i invested my future in this country to help build a film industry and i busted my balls, cause i was a girl with balls for a while, inhaled toxic substances, pedal to the medal to fill the orders and build someone else's dreams thinking, what goes around comes around but NO! what goes around gets to the end of the conveyor belt and drops off into the bin unless they wake up and look after their own ass in time... nearly lost a finger and totally lost my way while making way for the locals to move in and take over. so despite the glorious sunny day, the small triumphs of late, i feel like the walking dead. generation x takes on a whole new meaning. i don't know what the fuck to do.