having had enough of myself, relief was found in the burying of said self in matters of fun and merriment. such as, attempting to coerce a committee into defining a budget for an event that they hold every year. and this year in style, as it is i, who has been nominated to organise it. i have also been nominated v.p. since vp. is a nice thing to have on your cv, i will accept. even if it means having to run the club from debter's prison. as a result of all this free labour i have supplied, suddenly i feel quite motivated to seek out activites which actually pay.
results:
have contacted several events companies, one tv station, 2 production comapnies, 3 training facilities and 1 corporate coach
conclusion
should i not get hired on monday for the next palsy-walsy film, (who ME? attitude?) i shall trash the buffet at their anniversary gala, which i have, at least, been invited to
in this event, a flier will go out to all those desparate mamma's trying to get their kids' calendar filled , advertising after school bi-lingual crafts programme, at 20e's/headx25x8-supplies, i should still do ok.
will be enrolling in a subsidized Master's in Art Therapy
will pursue coaching option
will pursue trying to get some recent credit as a segment producer for local tv, having proposed to head their new life-styles and culture division (transferability)
nothing to lose = nothing to fear = just do it = succes = stymying my husband's plan to move us to , gulp, TEXAS
that's all folks
(thanks for asking)
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3 comments:
ah, well done. very well done.
hey, you're back. i like this picture.
well, i did all that the other day.
but today i'm walking around with yon big pit in stomach. having been thonked over the head with thealways present fact that not only am i fringe in the ever so repectable world of bankers and germanophiles, i am also a dirty, stinking foreigner and will never, ever, belong. and that, despite my cave-dwelling nature, makes me feel like a lonely and pathetic peice of shit.
so why am i so attached to this place?
reminds me of several men i used to know. the more thry ttreat you like shit, the more beautiful and fascinating you find them. and then there's the investing half you're life thing.
if i were my own life coach, i'd be saying get the hell outta dodge. maybe texas is not such a bad thing.
maybe it'll be ok. or maybe i'll end up just as much an outsider there as i am here. at least here i have a few friends who rreally, really know me. and sort of care. history is important to me. but i feel this chapter has ended.
the half your life thing, to my way of thinking, isn't about accrual... it's not like whatever happened in those years is lost if you don't remain there.
seems to me, if you feel such a dead end there, if you so frequently post in unhappiness for all that this place can never mean for you, then the only thing keeping you there is fear of the unknown.
on the other hand, texas is part of this fucking madness, so don't say i didn't warn you...
on the other hand, well, there's the whole land of opportunity thing if you wanna get dogmatic.
(and check the news... people like you n' me will always be fringe in the world of bankers and germanophiles. so what.)
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